Nope! I don’t crit su regularly (wording?) nor do I like the crits, but I did follow some (like repair-doods) that had… valid and reasonable posts and not the asinine “rebecca and all stans = fascist apologists” or who applauded daisy treefarm
hi guys im rae im a smelley college student and i could use a promo since i just cleared out many bots from the follower pool, i draw but none of that is here really (art blog is np24) but there will be content… some day
my commissions are currently closed because of the long queue i have but i have a ko-fi if you wanna send me some money so i can get coffee before class or just to donate and help me get the tablet ive been wishing for so i can produce even more art for you… ye
I am so in favor of filming your kids on your phones or cameras or whathaveyou because down the line, they’ll appreciate watching them. My parents filmed me and my brother often with an old camcorder from my birth in 2000 until Christmas 2005. I’m sad we don’t have any from 2006 onward, but there are the rare ones scattered through those years at school concerts and talent shows and field days. I have a bunch recorded on my phone to watch and I just really love looking at them and reminiscing. It makes the distant past still feel tangible enough that I can look back and be like “those were good times” instead of “I’m upset that I cant live that again” yknow
I was 6 years old when I found out that children aren’t meant to be left alone for any amount of time. I was 6 years old when the mandatory yearly check ups and vaccines made rounds again before school started. I was 6 years old, my brother was 3 years old.
I was 6 years old when my mother left me and the doctor alone in the exam room to check on my brother, who was a few feet away with a nurse in the room across the hall getting his weight and height measured. I was 6 years old when I thought I found out that having your private area checked, examined and touched extensively was normal. I was 6 years old when I was molested and assaulted by my pediatrician.
I was 7 years old when I started to exhibit strange behavior. I would stuff my sweatpants with socks until I couldn’t fit any more pairs. I continued to suck my thumb long after it was deemed inappropriate for a child my age. I would place a pencil under me between my legs when seated at my desk and pull it upwards over and over again when the teacher wasn’t looking. I would straddle and seat myself on the top of the child gate and lean forward.
I was 11 years old when they showed us videos about puberty in boys and girls. I was 11 years old when I became the puberty and sex expert. I was 11 years old when I pretended I was clueless around adults, I recognized that such knowledge was too explicit for my age.
I was 12 years old when we switched pediatricians. He was the one who had taken care of me when I was a baby, before his practiced moved too far away. I was 12 years old when I found out I had terrible anxiety going to the doctors office.
I was 14 when they went in depth for sex-ed in school. They explained almost everything, from sex to masturbation to sexuality to giggly middle schoolers with crude senses of humor. I was 14 when I decided I was bisexual. I was 14 when I thought my uncomfortableness in my own body was dysphoria, and declared myself bigender.
I was 14 when I found a vibrating back massager in the house and stole it to experiment with. I was 14 when I had my first orgasm, and I didn’t understand why I felt so disgusting after feeling so good.
I was 15 years old when I decided to try masturbating with my hands. I was 15 when I touched myself once with my fingers and felt sick. I was 15 years old when I ignored those feelings and decided that was just how it was supposed to feel. I was 15 years old when I found out I had a repulsion to men and dicks, and couldn’t find out why. I was 15 years old when I realized I was gay.
I was 16 years old when the memories my mind had suppressed started to come back. I was 16 years old when the thought of a child being left alone with an adult terrified me.
I was 17 years old when my mother came up to me and stated that our gynecologist was expecting a visit within a years time. I was 17 years old when I had one of the worst panic attacks in my life.
I was 18 years old when I went to meet my gynecologist. I kept telling myself over and over and over that he was a cheerful, caring, awesome man; and I am only going to talk him today. He had an amazing reputation in the area he worked, and I trust my mother when she answers my questions about him and the exams. I was 18 years old when I had a conversation with a doctor about my body and exams while I was having an anxiety attack. I was sweating, breathing faster than normal, and the moment we left couldn’t have come faster.
I am 18 years old and I cannot handle anything having to do with my own body. I am 18 years old and panic at any mention of gynecologists or doctors or hospitals or anything to do with medical supplies.
I am 18 years old and have lived 12 years of my life post trauma, and fear that when the time comes to be intimate with my girlfriend, I will freeze up or panic and wont be able to have sex with her when I want to, because some man decided he had power over a little girl and exploited it.
Guys I set up my bandcamp and finally released a first album!! A Single Pale Rose gave me a lot of feelings and even drawing a bunch didn’t give me a real outlet, so I ended up… teaching myself how to compose over summer. Seriously, that’s what this show has done to me.
Here is my debut album, Rose and Renegade! It contains 11 tracks and runs in chronological order of the gem war (including a couple of tracks that feature Garnet and Bismuth)! Two bonus renditions of the main track, The Rose And The Renegade, can also be found in the download. While each track can be downloaded as pay-what-you-want, the entire album costs just £3 (I think $2.50 USD?) if you felt like buying! It’s not a lot and it would go a big way to help supporting me. It would even help me make more music in the future!
Check it out!! I’ve been making music all summer!
This is really cool! An amazing composing debut from a very creative person!
Today I went to help my roommate pick up a package on campus… turns out, it was a whole bike in a box ordered off amazon. The people at the office were nice since the box was obviously heavy and our dorm is literally the farthest one from the center of campus, but we are lazy creatures who try to outsmart our situations in mediocre ways. So our decision less than a quarter of the way to the dorm was to take the box off the cart, return the cart instead of having to walk it all the way back, and build the bike… in the middle of campus. What could ever go wrong? After taking the bike out of the box we realized two things, the first being, there are zip ties involved and we have no scissors, leading to one of us having to run to the nearby student store and buying scissors to complete our mission. Finally all of the packaging is gone, but another problem arises… the most important concept of all… HOW THE HELL DOES ONE BUILD A BIKE? We never found out. As dark clouds began to roll in because it has been storming all week due to an impending hurricane hitting the coastline a few states down, Dan, a random man on campus became our savior. All hail Dan, builder of bikes. He built it in probably 10 minutes. So now we go to head back to the dorm… only to find the brake won’t let loose on the back tire… we pushed through this impeding force ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE DORM. Finally, we are just about to give up and put it in the storage room and my stomach is thankful because I haven’t eaten since 8:30 this morning when another savior comes along, a guy who lives on our floor who knows enough about bikes and spends 20 minutes fixing the problem… This literally took a total of 3 hours because we didn’t just bring the bike over on the mail cart and then walk back to return the mail cart… Only the smartest and most motivated people get in to college kids.
The scene that plays when Pearl admits to fantasizing about meeting and running away with Rose! Not sure what the official title is yet so I’m calling it I’ve Been Imagining Things!
You'll be okay Rae, school ain't easy but it ain't hell lol. If you ever need a distraction or wanna vent/talk feel free to message me
the first week i think was hell because i had a bad case of pms mixing with the move away from home (which, if anyone knows my history, is never something to thrust me into) and the sudden start of a new chapter in my life because im nostalgic and already miss the old routine of going to school and bringing 2, 3, 4 of my friends home and hanging out together in my room until evening. its weird not going back to my own bedroom and family every night no matter whose house it may be because i like to just chill, talk to myself about random things, and be weird in the comfort of my own space alone.
i actually just got my period today so the weepiness and emotional crap is mostly over but i still am homesick. but thats basically my college feelings summed up so far. and yes absolutely, i’ll remember that for any time in the future! <3